Just ME!

So i kindaa found something out about the guy that ive liked for 3 yrs ok hes engaged ok i havent seen him in like 3 months and he goes and gets engaged what the heck man why is he doing this god hes known this chick for two minutes and he goes off and gets engaged ok mayb shes pregnant haha that would suck but anyways im trying to forget about him cause hes not worth waiting for but anyways thats all for now bye (i know so random)

Ok so my mom and my sister have been out of town and there gonna be gone for a while and i just cant stand it i have to stay here and take care of my sisters dogs and my grandma and me and my grandma dont really get a long i guess it hasnt been too bad but i just want to go home already i wish i could and then my grandma is getting mad at me for the dumbest things and idk ugh and this whole guy thing is just pissing me off really because i really really like that guy that ive been writing about all this time and i know you guys have heard this a thousnd times but i cant help it i mean i guess my mom was right about like its hard to get over someone you have liked so long and so much ya know the thing that is just also getting to me is………….i dont think that im ever gonna like anyone else cuz i have been stuck on this guy for 2 years and my feelings havent changed i think they have gotten stronger and if i do see him soon than i wanna make things better im sick of being a chicken and not wanting to say anything i just want to be myself i think ive changed for him and thats not what i wanna do i dont wanna change for some guy thats not me thats not the girl i wanna be i dont wanna change and i dont want him to change but i think he has a lot

Ok so the summer is acctually going pretty good but the guy that i like yeah the one i always write about well it turns out that im going to be seeing a lot of him like hes gonna be coming over to my house a lot now like forever cause my stepdad cuts his hair and he comes every week which i dont really think he needs a haircut that often but whatever see its cause my stepdad moved out and now hes moving back in so thats why im gonna be seeing a lot of him like yeah so anyway im really scared to see him again i mean dont get me wrong i really do want to see him but see about the whole myspace thing i asked him to be my friend more than once and i sent him an apology message and he dident say anything and i just want to know what i did wrong im not saying that he has to accept me but he could have just said ok i forgive you or like told me what i did god you know what i should have said what did i do god i should have said that maybe he would have said something then ugh i dont know all i know is that when he comes to my house than i dont know what to do should i hide cause thats what i feel like i should do because imagine the face hes gonna have when he sees me just watch hes gonna act all cocky and be rude cause thats the type of guy he is ugh why do i even like him i dont know but i just do and all i do is think about him and i know i said i was gonna get over him but i just cant like i really cant cause i love him i really do i mean everything was perfectly fine and then all of a sudden he decides to be mad at me why thats all i wanna know but nooooo i cant ask him why you wanna know why cause ima chicken and i couldnt talk to him again he would look at me like i was stupid or something or maybe like when i do see him he’ll talk to me or tell me what the problem is no if he comes near me i would probly just run off cause thats how i am god i wish i wasnt so chicken but its him ya know like you wouldnt want to look like an idiot in front of the guy you really like right yeah being me i really wouldnt want that and i guess i just made things too perfect gosh whats wrong with me ugh now im realizing all the mistakes i made but i guess i didnt make mistakes cause hes the one that talked to me first hes the one that started our conversations every time we woould talk cause me yes i never talked to him no he would just come over to me sit with me and we would talk just about everything ok so i think im done venting for now so if you read this you probly just wasted a lot of time so sorry but hey if you have any advice for what i should do when i see him let me know thanx

xxx     Holly

Yeah baby its finally summer you dont know how long i have been waiting for summer ok so my finals were very stressful and I really dont think i passed them but enough about school cause its ova but yeah so this summer should be pretty exciting cause my birthday is next month and my mom and sister are going aout of town so i have to stay with my grandma  but hey maybe it wont be that bad cause during the week she wont even be here so i will have the house all to myself but i know what your thinking but im not that kinda  girl i will probly just watch movies all day but hey thats a good day right!  And im gonna start doing yoga this summer so that should be pretty exciting and my all time favorite show is coming back with an all new season yes my boys is back baby yes im so excited to watch but yeah im gonna go look stuff up ttfn!

God men are pigs let me just say. Ok i joined this new website and im not trying to dis the website so I wont say what website it is but its a lot similar to myspace.  Its like every freaking guy that I have added has hit on me what the freakin heck is wrong with them like seriously its so annoying like its ok if they say something nice like oh you have a nice picture ha idk something cool like that but not like omg your so sexy and calling me baby im not your baby ew i grosses me out and i love guys there amazing the only ones that hit on me are the ones that i dont want ugh it just really gets me. 

So ha I love reality tv its so awesome. Some people thinks its a waiste of time but seriously I think that it really shows like how people can just come together as like the best of friends so close like fammily. Yeah im just watching the bad girls club yeah I love it. So yeah omg you know what else rocks cereal ha   its so awesome its like you can have it like any time of the day breakfast lunch and dinner its amazing. So yeah that was me being bored so yeah laters

                                                                                                                                                                                                                PEACE

Wow omg its already may im so happy so much closser to summer.  I havent wrote in a while but really nothing much has really happened just counting down the days until summer which im so excited for  oh  yeah i cut my hair its so short it was such a shock i hated it at first but i guess its because ive had it long for so long that I wasnt used to it being this short but I guess its cute. ut it will also be easier to handle when we go to the lake this summer which im so excited for that woo hoo a break from school just chillaxin at the lake but I have to work my but off til the end of this year to be a sophmore next year wich i have a feeling im not going to be but whatever whats an extra semester right I dont even know anymore but we have like 13 1/2 days left so thats good but yeah thats pretty much whats going on so yeah i guess i can catch up with my blog in the summer more and you guys can keep reading about how boring my life is hahaha jk you know you love it jk so you never know it may get more exciting this summer so tune it.

HEY EVERYONE IM BORED SO IF ANY OF YOU READING THIS ARE BORED THAN TALK TO ME ON MYSPACE FIND ME AT MYSPACE.COM/HOLLY_15_STAR !!!!!

Ok so thank god for the weekend. I really excited that summer is almost here i am so ready to become a completly changed and person by next year. I am so ready to be away from my friends so krysta the bitchy best friend she is so two faced. She makes me so mad shes what you call stuck up and cocky. Ahh 3 months without seeing her stupid loser face haha YES!!!  So iim going to spend my summer not thinking about that guy maybe ill see him maybe i wont but I know deep inside that this is gonna be hard. So this summer im going to be excersising so much im really excited I also want to cleanse but im kinda scared to so yea idk but i cant waite to swimm. OMG im getting way to excited and its not even here yet. So im really board and yeah so im gonna go LATERS!!!

Ok so i promised id tell you what happened with the guy. So for those of you that read my blog you know that ive been in love with this guy for so long. Now I told you that I wrote him this big apology on myspace and i just really let out how I feel about him being mad at me, now i didnt say anything bad all I said was that I was really sorry. So he gets on doesnt read it. So im like ok wouldnt you want to read a message from someone you havent talked to in so long, I know I would. So i kinda get mad because you know wouldnt you so everyone keeps telling me oh hell read it he will and im like ok I can waite. So I do and a couple of hours later he does. So ive seen that he has read it he didnt reply to it nothing. I honestly dont think what I did was that bad seriously. I know it seems like im asking a lot but youll never know until you try so ive tried everything so ive made up my mind im letting him go im gonna try so hard to keep him off my mind hopefully I can do it. So wish me luck and hopefully this works. So I leave you with this always try and get what you want never wonder or you will never know.